What Everyone Wants….???

Alright Now,  It’s been a while since I’ve decided to rant/rave online and I think  it’s high time I start.   I know some of you people seemed to enjoy my non-sense.     I bounce back and forth between writings and always promise that I’ll write something and then I suddenly lose interest.   I wish I could keep my momentum and write something everyday, But I seem to lack the passion or enthusiasm I used to…. I’m trying to find it again, but it seems to be a losing battle.

Anyway….. Off to start my small topic of Discussion…. People, Love and all that junk we deal with on a regular basis.    I have been around this planet for almost exactly 29 years and I’ve seen alot of things, alot of things change… People come and go.  I have spent a good amount of my time pondering why people do alot of things they do and why they act the way they do and generally I seem to get it on at least a small scale…. One of the greatest mysteries however is Love……. particularly how it happens and well, How to find it.

I’ve been through a great number of relationships in my lifetime , some were fantastic, some were so-so and some were just downright bad…. Sometimes it was my fault, sometimes it was my fault and sometimes it just wasn’t meant to be….. and I’m thankful for ever single one, the good or the bad   because quite frankly they all helped me out in becoming who i am, or who I’m trying to be… Love is a strange thing… and I’ll struggle to understand it for the rest of my life.    I don’t know if it’s supposed to make any sense.. but I guess that’s what makes it so damn powerful.

I’ve loved alot of people over my 29 years, but when I look back, I’m not sure why…. I’ve been cheated and wronged, I’ve been embarrassed and stabbed in the back….I’ve been totally destroyed…. but yet, I keep trying it over and over again… hoping to get it right… and more often than not, it seems to be like …. Well … A party is a perfect metaphor…. When you go to a party with a few friends, you have a blast, you have a few too many to drink… you have the time of your life…. you wake up in the morning and your hanging over the toilet and eating Tylenol like candy…. but… next weekend, you do it all over again….  we say we’ll “never do it again” but we do… again and again…

Love is kind of like that… Except we put alot more effort into it and when it’s over it hurts alot more… and no amount of Tylenol is going to make it go away….. We all want love and we all (to some extent) fight to find it….. but damn when it’s over you wish you hadn’t bothered…. Relationships are a funny beast…. we all want one… but they scare the hell out of us at the same time.

Remember when it was just going up and asking a girl to dance at a high school dance?? or asking her to go see a movie??  I remember that, for some reason it was so much easier back then, and we didn’t really have so much to worry about… Holding hands and sharing popcorn was my biggest concern.        Now the pressure of being an adult has added huge amounts of strain to the idea and ideals of a relationship and at my age… it seems harder and harder to find.
But… Alas,     in the end….. We all want one thing… to know theres someone out there who we can spend our life with, someone we would die for…. someone we can’t live without…..     Its like the Pot of Gold on the otherside of the rainbow….. I just can’t find the Rainbow……………….

The Rants, The Unstructured… the Wrestler?? well… Yeah… InfiniteOdds.com returning…..

I read through alot of my old posts and deleted the ones that had no real merit….  so I left the content that people still seem to be reading.    Now, with a fresh start and perspective on the content… I have a good idea on the direction i wish to take this site… so within the next week or so, there will be some new and interesting content with which for you all to read… or whatever…

Christmas is Coming… What’s it to you??? The Holiday of all Holidays….To you??

So.. It’s December 11/ 2008, 2:41 as I currently sit here typing … and It’s getting closer, I can feel it…. the lights, the glitter the tinsel and the snow….the abundance of red and green and white… the candy canes… It’s everywhere….and i felt, that having this blog or outlet to rant and not updating in a while… I would have the perfect opportunity to talk about whats on every Christians mind… Christmas….Now, I had the idea to write about this exact subject today at work because of something a co-worker joked about at work today while out on my 15 minute smoke-break.   She was complaining about the weather and someone said we needed some snow, and that it wasn’t Christmas without snow, and she smartly replied, “It’s the birth of Christ, where he was born they don’t have snow”… so I thought it was funny and being as simple minded as I am, I decided I would write about the topic of Christmas, in my usual unstructured and grammatically incorrect way.

I’m sure most of you are scrambling around trying to find that last minute gift for that special someone, or just picking up a few little things for the person who should be on your list and you just plain forget, or well.. your like me and you haven’t even started…. but inevitably you’ll be standing in long lineups fighting to get out of there… pushing your way through hoards of people to get what your looking for… and it’s just part of your Christmas routine, I am just like you all, I haven’t even started yet, and I have two special occasions in a span of less than 10 days… the lady friend has a birthday coming just before Christmas, so I have to buy two extra special gifts… and although I have a bit of an Idea as to what I should get her… I have to make it good… and hope I pull through …. and if not.. well.. my bad.     I’d tell you about it, but well.. she may be reading, so I’ll have to keep that hush hush… can’t spoil the surprise, and to any of you in a similar situation as I, Good Luck.

But I wanted to talk about something else… What does Christmas mean to you??? What do you remember about Christmas, whats Your meaning of Christmas???

Christmas is alot of things to me, and my definition and outlook on that has changed alot over the years, my family are not with me, and live in another part of the country, and my daughter lives with her mother, so my Xmas isn’t exactly picture perfect, aside from the fact I’ll be spending the 24th, 25th and 26th at work, answering phone calls and dealing with other peoples problems… So I can’t say I have alot to look forward to this Holiday season and probably am not as stoked as some for the holidays, but I’ll do what I can to make the best of it, most likely spending some time with my daughter and seeing her gifts and playing with her, and spending some time with the girlfriend and her daughter, and most likely all the latter will be brief due to my working schedule… but again, I’ll make due.. I hope…..

But I can say with certainty that I have fond memory’s of Christmas and what it means or meant to me…. I have a pretty big family and we all generally lived on the same street.. so there were alot of holiday gatherings and lots of fun times… but mostly I remember the times I had with my Grandparents, my moms mother and father… they were like my second parents, and my Grandfather was like a god to me.and my Grandmother was an Angel.. he was the greatest man I’ll ever know..and she was the strongest women that ever existed… and that’s fact…in my eyes, I remember every minute I spent with them… and Christmas especially, sitting down in the living room with him watching Hockey or the annual Christmas Daddies telethon which is a big thing where I’m from to raise money for the needy… we would sit and chat and talk while my Mom and Grandmother would decorate and chat it up with whoever dropped by.. All of the family would drop in and out briefly but I didn’t want to be anywhere else… and this was long before Christmas was even around the corner…. once Christmas time came, it was the same, we would open a few gifts at our house and then it was off to “Ma and Papa’s” which was what we affectionately called our grandparents… and we would sit there while they opened there gifts and stayed there for the remainder of the night eating and chatting, and even tho it wasn’t much to some people…It was big to me,  I got to see most of my family, aunts , uncles, cousins and everything in between, all at the center of my universe, my grandparents little house… and… well, it’s years later… and time has passed… but when I think of Christmas… I don’t think about gifts, or music, or snow or Santa… I think of them… Johnny and Kathleen, Ma and Papa, my Grandparents… they were my Christmas… and even tho they have passed on… Christmas is there Holiday… and I miss them dearly… I wish just once I could go back to that overdecorated little house and sit on the edge of that couch with my Grandfather as he clicked away at the remote and my Grandma bickered and joked with the women of the family out at the kitchen table drinking there super strong tea..lol… I miss you both Dearly Ma and Papa…. Merry Christmas…..

So that was my sentimental little journey into the past…. but well, the moral of the story is this…. Christmas isn’t about Gifts, or Snow, or Decorations… it’s about what you make of it, and who you spend it with… never take the little things for granted, because when they’re gone.. you’ll want them back forever…. So wherever you are this Christmas… make the most of it… and spend as much time as you can with your loved ones…. It’ll be worth it in the end….so to you all… Have a Merry Christmas… or Happy Holidays… You only live once…. Live Once…..

OBAMA WINS!!!! Congratulations America!!!

If I were an American I would be proud… Hell, I’m not an American and I’m still proud, this marks one of the major milestones in History… the first Black President… and well… aside from that… it breaks barriers that have been there since the dawn of time.. hot off the heels of my last post.. this is very fitting.

But it isn’t about Race.. it is about the Man, President Obama will do good things for the U.S.A and I strongly believe he has the potential to go down as one of the greatest presidents of all time… but, what do I know, I’m just a Canadian…..         Well.. Congrats Obama, and Congratulations U.S.A!!!

Racism… Ages have passed….. and it’s Still an issue…???

This is a topic that I have always felt strongly about, and well… something about it seems too taboo to mention, or I feel just by using the word Race I’m crossing a line… and for some that may be true… but I suppose it’s just with all the talk about elections, obama, and a multitude of other things…but It baffles me that decades past Martin Luther King… and great efforts by many other great men, black or white… why is race still an issue.. and why does that hate still exist???

It sickens me, to no end… this isn’t so much a post, or article as much as me venting my frustrations…we still have Hate groups… like the KKK and “Skinheads” who seem to think the color of there skin makes them better …. Which is completeley ignorant… we’ve seen people of every color at every turn, doing great jobs and showing we are all equal in every way… but the word Racism still exists..

Being white doesn’t make you better at anything…. nor does hating people who aren’t white… the word terrorist isn’t the same as the word arab…. being jewish doesn’t mean your cheap… being chinese doesn’t mean your great at math, being Irish doesn’t mean your a drunk, being Canadian doesn’t mean your a lumberjack, being Mexican doesn’t mean you hopped the fence….

Again, I Remind you, this is unlike what most of my structured rants will be like… I just needed to get this off my chest… so all you ignorant morons who think your better because of your skin color… jump off a bridge or something… save the world a favor… because as far as I’m concerned… 2008 is equality… i think it’s time to shed our skin and give it all up… because well.. when it comes down to it…your no better than me, and I’m no better than you… again… sorry I wasn’t more articulate… or lengthier in my writing.. but this was more an angry outburst than a well thought out article…

I would love to get your feedback on this issue… good or bad… and hopefully a little courtesy as to not receive any threats on my life for my opinions… thank you… and good night..