Alright Now, It’s been a while since I’ve decided to rant/rave online and I think it’s high time I start. I know some of you people seemed to enjoy my non-sense. I bounce back and forth between writings and always promise that I’ll write something and then I suddenly lose interest. I wish I could keep my momentum and write something everyday, But I seem to lack the passion or enthusiasm I used to…. I’m trying to find it again, but it seems to be a losing battle.
Anyway….. Off to start my small topic of Discussion…. People, Love and all that junk we deal with on a regular basis. I have been around this planet for almost exactly 29 years and I’ve seen alot of things, alot of things change… People come and go. I have spent a good amount of my time pondering why people do alot of things they do and why they act the way they do and generally I seem to get it on at least a small scale…. One of the greatest mysteries however is Love……. particularly how it happens and well, How to find it.
I’ve been through a great number of relationships in my lifetime , some were fantastic, some were so-so and some were just downright bad…. Sometimes it was my fault, sometimes it was my fault and sometimes it just wasn’t meant to be….. and I’m thankful for ever single one, the good or the bad because quite frankly they all helped me out in becoming who i am, or who I’m trying to be… Love is a strange thing… and I’ll struggle to understand it for the rest of my life. I don’t know if it’s supposed to make any sense.. but I guess that’s what makes it so damn powerful.
I’ve loved alot of people over my 29 years, but when I look back, I’m not sure why…. I’ve been cheated and wronged, I’ve been embarrassed and stabbed in the back….I’ve been totally destroyed…. but yet, I keep trying it over and over again… hoping to get it right… and more often than not, it seems to be like …. Well … A party is a perfect metaphor…. When you go to a party with a few friends, you have a blast, you have a few too many to drink… you have the time of your life…. you wake up in the morning and your hanging over the toilet and eating Tylenol like candy…. but… next weekend, you do it all over again…. we say we’ll “never do it again” but we do… again and again…
Love is kind of like that… Except we put alot more effort into it and when it’s over it hurts alot more… and no amount of Tylenol is going to make it go away….. We all want love and we all (to some extent) fight to find it….. but damn when it’s over you wish you hadn’t bothered…. Relationships are a funny beast…. we all want one… but they scare the hell out of us at the same time.
Remember when it was just going up and asking a girl to dance at a high school dance?? or asking her to go see a movie?? I remember that, for some reason it was so much easier back then, and we didn’t really have so much to worry about… Holding hands and sharing popcorn was my biggest concern. Now the pressure of being an adult has added huge amounts of strain to the idea and ideals of a relationship and at my age… it seems harder and harder to find.
But… Alas, in the end….. We all want one thing… to know theres someone out there who we can spend our life with, someone we would die for…. someone we can’t live without….. Its like the Pot of Gold on the otherside of the rainbow….. I just can’t find the Rainbow……………….
